The Three Things One Should Never Discuss at Dinner

As I was reading a post about the election of Keith Ellison, America's first Muslim Congressman, the following anonymous comment at Refusenik raised a number of questions in my mind:

He's also an ardent supporter of Gay rights and gay marriage and legislation (including full rights for domestic gay partnerships)...which is fine if that's your thing...but as a Muslim?

Apparently the anonymous commenter does not think that Muslims can support, for example. gay rights. It seems to me that questions of religion, sexuality, and politics are always more complex than that.

Ellison's possible dilemma as a Muslim has long been faced by American Catholics, culminating in the election of John F. Kennedy, who was quite explicit about the fact that as President of the United States, he answered to the American people, all of them, not to the Pope. Mr. Ellison is not primarily elected for his private beliefs, but as the representative of his constituents. However, the anonymous commenter also raised questions for me about how Muslims should confront sexuality and individual rights in a modern Islamic country such as Morocco.

My knowledge of sexuality in Morocco is spotty at best. I know that I was a bit surprised at the degree of rural prostitution. I had friends who were involved in straight relationships with Moroccans and friends who were involved in gay relationships with Moroccans. I am aware that homosexual activity is a criminal offense, and it is my understanding that there is a significant problem with sex trafficking in Morocco. America's most famous expatriate novelist living in Morocco, Paul Bowles, was but one of a number of prominent gay Americans who spent time in Morocco. Tahar ben Jelloun, at least in Le Dernier Ami, is quite frank about premarital Moroccan sexual relationships. And yet there is a strict requirement that women be virgins upon marriage. But there are always rumors of ways to cheat.

One might ask whether it is necessary, or important, or decent to pry into such questions. I think that it probably is, however uncomfortable people may find it, because sexual orientation and sexual practices are too often used to marginalize, victimize, or oppress people. Whether it is women or gays who choose to express or acknowledge their sexuality, doing so puts them at peril, not just in Islamic societies such as Morocco, but also in the United States.

SeeGay Morocco — Myths and Realities (contains some offensive references to "swarthiness"); What Is Going on in Morocco? Middle East Gay Journal (July 2006); Tahar Ben Jelloun, Le Dernier Ami